An Open Letter to Bejeweled iPhone App

Dear Bejeweled iPhone App,

Let me start by saying you’re great. Amazing, actually. For the past three weeks, you have been a big, nay, huge part of my “free time,” which has been considerable. You should know simply based upon the amount of time I’ve devoted to you that I really, really like you. But if that isn’t enough, then the numerous”high scores” and “badges” we’ve shared should give it away. I’ve even taken to seeing your patterns in the real world at times.

When we first met, we I knew it couldn’t last. I knew that this would have to be a short term thing. I just didn’t know how very well we’d get along nor how difficult ending things would be. Although it’s trite to even type, it’s really not you, it’s so very much me. You see, I’m a Professional Procrastinator. I now know the limits of my distractability and the breadth of my compulsions. You’ve seen how we can’t just hang out every now and then for a short amount of time–that’s just not how our relationship works.

Thus, if I ever intend to, I don’t know, resume normal productive life, and finish my degree, you can’t be in my life. At all. And so today, I will delete you completely, knowing full well that the $1.00 I spent on you was more than worth it. I will always remember that one last high score (that only reflects the inordinate amount of time we spent together rather than my game-playing prowess) that occurred in our last moments together this evening,

Goodbye, friend. Perhaps we’ll meet again.


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